Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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