I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Randomize
