The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
My vagina is very pro this idea
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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