I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
