You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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