tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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