Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize