Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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