sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
