The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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