Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
