Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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