based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
