Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
