My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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