I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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