Pants 0. Shit 1.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I'm like, not good at living.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
