I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
