So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
