I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
