Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
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