i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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