You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I will pee on everything he values.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
