is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Randomize
