So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
