You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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