i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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