I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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