Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
