what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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