what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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