Pappa wants mamma naked
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I love having hate sex.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
and eventually we just all took our pants off
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
