I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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