I got chris browned last night
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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