I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
tequila makes me forget i have legs
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
