no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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