I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Michael Bay diarrhea
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize