And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
