is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Randomize
