I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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