U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Randomize
