I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
