talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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