Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
