Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize