at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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