So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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