She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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