ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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