Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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