We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
