so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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