So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
