I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
