I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize