Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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