Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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