Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
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