he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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