Having a random hookup so left but love u
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
