I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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