I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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