i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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