Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize