Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
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