I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
