dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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