Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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