So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
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